The Celebrity Phenomenon

Last night Fatty and I were discussing how hard it is to be a celebrity in this day and age. I know they get paid thousands and millions of pounds/dollars to do a job they "love", but hear me out.

They have to be thin, but not too thin because then they might be anorexic, they have to look fabulous everytime they step outside their house - no bad hair days or hormonal zits allowed, they have to wear the right thing and have their hair the right way as to be in fashion at that particular second. I think it is often forgotten that for all their millions and minions they are just humans too - and I am sure someone said - "Too err is human" (it was Alexander Pope - isn't the internet wonderful - more on that another day) but we expect these people to be perfect.
It also amazes me how one minute celebrity X is the worst thing to ever walk the earth, the next they can do no wrong. It happened to David Beckham and Victoria, Jade Goody..... there are more.

This was all sparked by a copy of Grazia magazine which i now get every week as the original magazine i subscribed to stopped being produced. It is apparently the "Magazine of the year" but not sure who voted for that - the people that work there I think. I don't like these magazine, stalking the celebs waiting for them to fail. Ok & Hello are cheesy, but at least they pay for the story and is just a glorified advert for said celeb.

So I'm glad I'm not a celebrity - money would be nice, but definitely not worth being under the microscope.

Stitch & Bitch

I have just returned from my weekly dressmaking class. Stop laughing. The main motivation behind this endeavour was having something, one night a week that got me out the house and being me rather than "mother". This part is definitely working so far, although this is only week 2. There is the added bouns of learning how to make dresses. It is a very steep learning curve, so far I have cut out 2 of the 4 pieces needed - not bad for 4 hours work. Who'd have thought that there was so much time and effort in these things. So although I have called this post "Stitch & Bitch" it has so far been more like "Pin & Bitch" and most of the bitching happens in the car with Cheese & Fatty. We are not the youngest people there, but we certainlly bring the average age down considerably. Some of the ladies (for there are no gentlemen there) have been going for over 10 years, it might well take us that long before we become anywhere near competent seamstresses (or should that be seamstressi ?).
Don't worry I haven't signed up for the WI just yet, (although I have been known to make cakes and marmalade) this foray into suburban drudgery is for mental stimulation rather than getting to know the local ladies. Although, who knows, I could soon be whipping up a quick donkey costume for the school nativity before breakfast (hummmm not at current speeds).

Walk the plank

We took the little pirate for his first swim yesterday - he loved splashing about in the big bath and was not a bit worried by the new sights, sounds and smells.
It was more disturbing for his mother. Having had a baby 14 weeks ago the body is not what it used to be (not that it was a perfect specimen before mind you) and I have to admit I was a little worried about donning the swimwear in public. The copious amounts of stretch marks put paid to the bikini (maybe one day) so I got out the swimsuit, but even then felt that I needed to partake of some serious deforestation before feeling brave enough to undress. All in all there is a little issue of boy confidence in this piratical maid. For anyone in the same boat, I wholehearted recommend a trip to the local swimming pool. It is fair to say there are all shapes and sizes on show there, some more blatent than others and some whom obviously didn't look in the mirror, the swimsuits really weren't up to the job of covering the required amount of flesh.
I'm never have been a skinny person and would much rather see curves than bones on a girl, but I also think that there is a time and place for revealing those curves and the public swimming pool is not it. I did feel like doing a Trinny & Susannah number on them.

Knowing me knowing you

I've decided to join the blog-o-sphere.
Why start? As a new mum still on maternity leave I have lots of time to think (often a dangerous pass time) and muse. I've never been a big diary writer, but thought that having somewhere to put these thoughts might help me make sense of them. Not that they keep me away at night, the Little Pirate is very good at that (and consequently I am very good at going back to sleep), but I have a tendancy to keep these thoughts to myself and that can't be a good thing, bottling it up.
My friends know that I am pretty transparent when it comes to emotions, but not necessarily my thoughts. So this is a way of getting to know myself better and a bonus if it helps other people know me too.

Why the pirate theme? I thought about making this transparent - names etc, but then decided that it would be more fun with an element of mystery. Those I might write about will know who they are whether I use their names or not, this way there is some confidentiallity.

But why pirates? Shiver me timbers, the pirate thing probably comes from watching Pirates of the Caribbean (1st one, others were shocking) and since then have enjoyed the lighter side of pirates, (the joint hen/stag do the weekend before my wedding was pirate themed) and when looking for a title for this blog looked to the Pirates of Penzance for inspiration.

I'll probably be back later when the Little Pirate is having his next nap.